If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
