I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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