whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
