where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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