sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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