Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
