I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
