If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We talked him into tasing himself.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
