it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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