We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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