At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
