Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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