if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
