Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize