Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
