yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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