So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
