yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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