so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
