we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Send help, water and tortillas.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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