Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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