Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I enjoy the company of your penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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