return my video game
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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