I should be sponsored by Trojan
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
