I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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