I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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