she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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