There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
