is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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