so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In other news, I just burned my penis
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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