You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
