you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
