that's an acceptable place to lick
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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