my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
