I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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