try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
