So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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