I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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