this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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