I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
