I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
