susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
