her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
