You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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