I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was like eating out sand paper
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
