They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
