I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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