guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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