This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
