I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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