he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize