Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
