My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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