the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
