batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
