he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
