I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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