Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
