We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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