Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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