she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
