I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
